◤DericDumDum◥
Twitter · Facebook page · Instagram



心事谁能知
Saturday, March 28, 2009 | Posted by Deric
damn it can.
can you all understand how i feel?
please put yourself in my shoes.
you may think i like this disappear may be happy but you all maybe wrong.
i can tell you i'm sad.
you all just don't know how i feel only.
no mood to sleep , eat or play.
i cant get to sleep.
not eating proper meal.
play and get injuries.
you think i like all this?
not i really want to say.
we all have eyes.
those who know how to see will know.
those who understand me will know how i feel.
putting them in my shoes , they feel the same as me.
maybe some of you wont. but most of them do.
listen to the song , season in the sun.
it start like this.
`goodbye to you my trusted friend , we've know each other since we were 9 or 10.
together we've climb hills and trees. learned of love and ABC's.
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
goodbye my friend it's hard to die. when all the birds are singing in the sky.
now the spring is in the air. pretty girls are everywhere.
think of me and i'll be there.
we had joy , we had fun , we had seasons in the sun.
--
those two goodbye sentence is meant for now.
those other few sentence. can say we are like that when we used to.
what happened?
all gone. now i got no joy and no fun.
ever since i feel someone spoiling us.
putting yourself in my shoes. please , go and think how i feel.
thought i scold you or argue with you. it hurts. you just don't know anything.
i told myself. why should i shed tears? since you can be happy right now.
while saying this to some of them. i really holding up those tears.
even now when i'm typing.
last time we used to be good buddies right.
i even shared all my things to you.
but now to me , i don't think i can trust you.
how will you show me i can trust you again?
how to be the buddies we used to be?
how how how? i'm still thinking. is there another way to solve this.
i'm not trying to be emotional. i'm saying all my truthful words.
i deamt about this happening one day.
and it did. yes , you didn't do anything wrong.
it was me who started. i can't stand this anymore.
what your brother said to me is true. but he didn't try putting himself in my shoes.
i understand what he said. but he also should understand how i feel.
why must all this happen in the first place?
this type of feeling just sucks can.
now , what is friends.
what is buddy.
i know whose my friends and whose my buddy from now on.
those who can be truely trusted and treating me nicely are my buddies.
others are just normal friends to me.
i truely know well.
now , people what. i just listen.
take it as a comment.
what they want say i just let them say.
what can i do when they want to say?
beat them? scold them?
i don't do it this way. just let them finish those words they want.
erase it when its done.
thanks for letting me get to my senses.
i won't forget those joyful periods.
i won't forget those funny moments.
i won't forget the friendship we had last time.
but one thing i will forget now is a great buddy to me is gone.
why? ask yourself.
i'm always the one who gave in the most.
i guess i am too kind hearted.
i will learn to be hard when i move on.
i'm not looking down on you. never will i.
i'm just on my own now.
please take a look back how i treated you.
and the way you treated me last time.
and take a closer look how i and you been treating each other.
allan knows and understand how i feel. he's also 11 years buddy to me.
he had change alot all this year but we both still treating each other very good.
all the times. i can say i'm giving fake smiles.
only same are real. only last time. always real.
what happen to me now. god.
please guide me can.
my heart is aching.
i'm sick and tired of all this.
so , i chose to be gone. the only way i can try to stay away from all this.
i just only want to be happy.
happy and i'm satisfied.
i don't ask for more. just a little request. is it so difficult?
i'm saying all my feelings out. hoping i will feel better.
those who know just know. don't know than don't ask.
i want to forget and just get some happy moments.
hate me all you want.
i just suck to the core.
i'm only a bastard. just some friend i am to you all.
i've only have this word which i know in some of your mind.
hatred.
just go ahead. i've got nothing more to say.
i'm just a loser.
i admit defeat.
you've won.
all those things which i gave.
you can do whatever you want.
throw , give or sell. it's all up to you.
i gave it to you because you like it. and you are my best buddy.
wenkai may like it. but somehow i still always giving it to you first unless it got extra.
do other people get those?
maybe you are reading this.
maybe you are not. but i know others are.
tag all you want guys.
say all about me. i want to know more about myself. please say.
this is all i can say.
我很心苦又很难受.

Labels: