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DericDumDum
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Brothers & Sister
Cherish everyone around you
especially your family
especially your family
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uh huh. i'm back ! Test my blog is dead ~lol , now i revive it.long time n... feeling a little fucked up with my back problems.l... sigh , so bored.my mood now is abit sad.i cant pla... firstly.- no more sports for me.- no more lion dan... yeah , finally im blogging again.lol , just finish... wah , long time didnt blog.seems like my blog is s... i guess , my body is just too weak.sickness just c...Tuesday, March 31, 2009 | Posted by Deric
i might reconsider that post.
like you say.
i'm joking but you don't think so.
it applies to you too.
sigh.
cause i just knew something.
something which is so disappointing.
why?
i just dont know why you must be like this.like you say.
i'm joking but you don't think so.
it applies to you too.
learn how to feel can.
think over it and come tell me.sigh.
| Posted by Deric
alright , i can forgive you now.
but we both need time,
cos i want to believe that you won't let this happen again,won't let my mind run wild & make me feel jealous again.
but how am i supposed to face you now,
i don't want to go there & give everyone black face,
i just need time,
unless you can really make me believe you right now,i'm always your good buddy,
please do not let this happen again.
cos i know we both feel the same.
we dont feel good.
okays, hope ya reading this post.
Monday, March 30, 2009 | Posted by Deric
i don't blame anyone.
moreover , i'm blaming myself.
you don't like me to joke about you. i stop joking.
you ask me out even thou i don't feel like going out. i still go.
that day i angry about you. but even how i still go.
why? i still treat you as best buddy. can't you see?
i angry about you i don't even tell you. i just gave a face only.
you asked me. ni fa shen mo pi qi. i just kept quiet.
moreover , i'm blaming myself.
i knew my own mistakes.
for being jealous.
jealous of you treating another friend more better than me.
yes , i remember i did say i won't answer your call all that.
at that time of point i don't feel like talking.
maybe , you msg me. i might reply. just up to my mood.
but after so many people asking me not to do this or that.
i felt they all helping you.
but its not. they are just saying whats in their mind.
i know it's not worth it. but look at the problem.
i'm not saying about your attitude now.
yes , you've change. i know.
your attitude changes so does how you treat your friends.
you don't like me to tease you , i stop teasing.you don't like me to joke about you. i stop joking.
you ask me out even thou i don't feel like going out. i still go.
that day i angry about you. but even how i still go.
why? i still treat you as best buddy. can't you see?
i angry about you i don't even tell you. i just gave a face only.
you asked me. ni fa shen mo pi qi. i just kept quiet.
but after few hours. i still talk to you like normal.
i still have alot of why in my mind.
why does this happen?
why did you become like this?why am i like that?
lots of why.
as i said , i'm willing to forgive and forget.
it all just depends on you.
| Posted by Deric
Everytime I think about it, I don't know what to do. I can't talk to you. I can't msg you. I can't call you. I can't meet you up and I can't get to see you.
i didn't say u can't talk to me.
i'm getting soft hearted again.
morning see doctor no fever. now got abit of fever.
boring. at least im getting better. just have to complete the medication.
i didn't say u can't msg me.
i didn't say u can't call me.
i didn't say u cant't meet me.i don't have the rights to say all those.
is just up to me if i want to talk or msg.
i can only don't answer your call.
u can meet me but only if i want to.
you can get to see me. is just only if you can get to see me around.
saying all this.
i was thinking.
i might answer your call and might reply your sms.
just by looking at your post.i'm getting soft hearted again.
everything doesn't only lie in my hands.
it takes two hands to clap.
i'm always willing to forgive and forget.
but will you still be the same?
will we still be like last time?
i'm asking myself all this when i saw your post.
yes , i know how you feel.
i know you are sorry.
so am i.
i don't know what had happened in between.
all of a sudden. we just became colder to each other.
not only to me. to allan , eric.
we always used to laugh happily.
now , to me. i'm only better with allan and eric.
when can we again , be that happy.
it all depends on you. =)
morning see doctor no fever. now got abit of fever.
boring. at least im getting better. just have to complete the medication.
now i think i still cant get to slp again. i will try.
Sunday, March 29, 2009 | Posted by Deric
sometimes i still sit there like a idiot for 20mins ?
i treated you as a sister. i just complain only.
ask that am i that bad.
Actions speaks louder than words.
yes , i've been saying it again and again.
why? look at your own actions.
words is hard to believe either.
not you wanted.
but i'm the one who started.
i purposely did it.
you should know why.
if you don't know.recall what i said.
yes , you said you changed and not letting me wait.sometimes i still sit there like a idiot for 20mins ?
i treated you as a sister. i just complain only.
i hate to wait. i can say.
but i just don't mind waiting for you.
you think i can sleep so well even when i wanted to end this ?3 days. i only slept for 6hrs.
just now morning after i see doctor. i slept for another 6hrs.
3 days i only slept for total of 12hrs.
believe it or not is up to you.
you can ask nelson.
if you were like last time. i would have just forgive you.
but you were totally different now. how different are you?
try asking around.
like i said , everyone have eyes. they know how to see.
you can't look at yourself about what you have done.
ask around , thats what i've been doing.ask that am i that bad.
am i mostly in the wrong.
you can try asking that too.
i am still thinking.thinking hard.
Saturday, March 28, 2009 | Posted by Deric
and yes. now i'm crying when i reading allan post.
i dare to admit. IM CRYING.
only he's the one who knows me well.
i cant stop crying.
why , does crying makes a guy a girl?
NO , guys do cry and shed tears.
maybe allan didnt write properly in his post.
IM SORRY.
i feel like crying it out loud.
yes , u guys can say im a girl or what.
but im just touch reading his post.
i told him not to post all those up.
yes , some are misunderstanding.
but i dun like the way it is.
i apologise.
SORRY.
and i did complain when i waited. allan i did complain.
but eventually i just take it as nth happen.
all can come find mi. dun find allan.
its not his fault saying all those.
find mi. just mi will do.
scold all u wan.
i gave up. its all my fault.
its no one else fault.
i did say ah boy. yes.
but who paid for the chalet. we only paid for the food.
心事谁能知
i dare to admit. IM CRYING.
only he's the one who knows me well.
i cant stop crying.
why , does crying makes a guy a girl?
NO , guys do cry and shed tears.
maybe allan didnt write properly in his post.
IM SORRY.
im stupid enough.
crying over such things.why , why am i so soft hearted.
crying under my pillow.i feel like crying it out loud.
yes , u guys can say im a girl or what.
but im just touch reading his post.
i told him not to post all those up.
yes , some are misunderstanding.
but i dun like the way it is.
i apologise.
SORRY.
and i did complain when i waited. allan i did complain.
but eventually i just take it as nth happen.
all can come find mi. dun find allan.
its not his fault saying all those.
find mi. just mi will do.
scold all u wan.
i gave up. its all my fault.
its no one else fault.
i did say ah boy. yes.
but who paid for the chalet. we only paid for the food.
i may said i go home in the morning and dun wan squeeze wif them.
ya , i said that cause i always dun have any space to sleep nicely.
in the end i tot i was in the wrong too. but it was too late also.
ah boy , im sry for that too. i know u may have heard it. i say it loudly that day.
now i dare to say. and i dare to admit.
you all just dun understand how i feel only.
im still crying. crying for such stupid things.
you all just nv see mi cry before.
i think now only afew ppl understand how i feel.
good friends good buddies.
ah boy , im sry for that too. i know u may have heard it. i say it loudly that day.
now i dare to say. and i dare to admit.
you all just dun understand how i feel only.
im still crying. crying for such stupid things.
you all just nv see mi cry before.
i think now only afew ppl understand how i feel.
good friends good buddies.
even if im gone. i take all this memories wif mi.
im sick and i dun even have the mood to go see doctor.
im under so much stress.
i may be dulan but im aching inside.
lots of you just dun understand.
Labels: thanks allan. =')
心事谁能知 | Posted by Deric
now , people what. i just listen.
damn it can.
can you all understand how i feel?
please put yourself in my shoes.
you may think i like this disappear may be happy but you all maybe wrong.i can tell you i'm sad.
you all just don't know how i feel only.
no mood to sleep , eat or play.
i cant get to sleep.
not eating proper meal.
play and get injuries.
you think i like all this?
not i really want to say.
we all have eyes.
those who know how to see will know.
those who understand me will know how i feel.
putting them in my shoes , they feel the same as me.
maybe some of you wont. but most of them do.
listen to the song , season in the sun.
it start like this.
`goodbye to you my trusted friend , we've know each other since we were 9 or 10.
together we've climb hills and trees. learned of love and ABC's.
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
goodbye my friend it's hard to die. when all the birds are singing in the sky.
now the spring is in the air. pretty girls are everywhere.
think of me and i'll be there.
we had joy , we had fun , we had seasons in the sun.
--
those two goodbye sentence is meant for now.
those other few sentence. can say we are like that when we used to.
what happened?
all gone. now i got no joy and no fun.
ever since i feel someone spoiling us.
putting yourself in my shoes. please , go and think how i feel.thought i scold you or argue with you. it hurts. you just don't know anything.
i told myself. why should i shed tears? since you can be happy right now.
while saying this to some of them. i really holding up those tears.
even now when i'm typing.
last time we used to be good buddies right.
i even shared all my things to you.
but now to me , i don't think i can trust you.
how will you show me i can trust you again?
how to be the buddies we used to be?
how how how? i'm still thinking. is there another way to solve this.
i'm not trying to be emotional. i'm saying all my truthful words.
i deamt about this happening one day.
and it did. yes , you didn't do anything wrong.
it was me who started. i can't stand this anymore.
what your brother said to me is true. but he didn't try putting himself in my shoes.
i understand what he said. but he also should understand how i feel.
why must all this happen in the first place?this type of feeling just sucks can.
now , what is friends.
what is buddy.
i know whose my friends and whose my buddy from now on.
those who can be truely trusted and treating me nicely are my buddies.others are just normal friends to me.
i truely know well.now , people what. i just listen.
take it as a comment.
what they want say i just let them say.
what can i do when they want to say?
beat them? scold them?i don't do it this way. just let them finish those words they want.
erase it when its done.
thanks for letting me get to my senses.i won't forget those joyful periods.
i won't forget those funny moments.
i won't forget the friendship we had last time.
but one thing i will forget now is a great buddy to me is gone.
why? ask yourself.
i'm always the one who gave in the most.
i guess i am too kind hearted.
i will learn to be hard when i move on.
i'm not looking down on you. never will i.
i'm just on my own now.
please take a look back how i treated you.
and the way you treated me last time.
and take a closer look how i and you been treating each other.
allan knows and understand how i feel. he's also 11 years buddy to me.
he had change alot all this year but we both still treating each other very good.
all the times. i can say i'm giving fake smiles.
only same are real. only last time. always real.what happen to me now. god.
please guide me can.
my heart is aching.
i'm sick and tired of all this.
so , i chose to be gone. the only way i can try to stay away from all this.
i just only want to be happy.
happy and i'm satisfied.
i don't ask for more. just a little request. is it so difficult?
i'm saying all my feelings out. hoping i will feel better.
those who know just know. don't know than don't ask.
i want to forget and just get some happy moments.
hate me all you want.
i just suck to the core.
i'm only a bastard. just some friend i am to you all.
i've only have this word which i know in some of your mind.
hatred.
just go ahead. i've got nothing more to say.
i'm just a loser.
i admit defeat.
you've won.
all those things which i gave.
you can do whatever you want.
throw , give or sell. it's all up to you.
i gave it to you because you like it. and you are my best buddy.
wenkai may like it. but somehow i still always giving it to you first unless it got extra.
do other people get those?maybe you are reading this.
maybe you are not. but i know others are.
tag all you want guys.
say all about me. i want to know more about myself. please say.
this is all i can say.
我很心苦又很难受.
Labels: 我只要开心和快乐又只要你对我好和公平. 我只要求这些. 有多难吗?
Friday, March 27, 2009 | Posted by Deric
DERIC'S
GONE FOR GOOD.
GOODBYE!
Thursday, March 26, 2009 | Posted by Deric
its been quite long since i last update.
now gonna update.
now gonna update.
came back from chalet yesterday morning.
din wanna stay till check out time as i dun really like that way it is.
i dun wan to say out la. some just noe the reason. thats the way of mi.
i dun like i can just go off. anytime.
at chalet , bbq for 2 days. 1st day didnt eat much.
2nd day still okok.
sigh. thinking of something makes mi super sad. dun wanna say.
shouldnt have go. so stupid of mi man.
didnt do much things at chalet as im not so in a playing mood.
boring to me can. making me dun feel like going to chalet anymore next time.
end of that.
lets talk about something else. my own feelings.
if u are seeing this , remember it bah.
you should know who you are. =)
and one thing. i'm not saying u.
i dun like to argue. when i keep quiet , u can stop talking.
i'll be okay in no time.
sometimes i wan to be left alone.
i not so easily angry. even if so , i still will cool down in no time.
i'm always been good and yes. im always saying u but im just joking arnd.
yes , u may be angry. i dun mind. i also will stop. its not that i wont stop.
its not i dun cherish or care about the friendship. i do care. if i dun care , i would argue all the way wif u. i've been very good already. how good u want me to be ? just tell mi , im okay one.
to u , the way u talk is not arguing. but to mi it is. u must noe how someone feels.
i've been tolerating very long. and that day i just continue to tolerate. i din blurst out my feelings.i dun like to blurst out at ppl.
sometimes u can say i jealous. yes but jealous of friendship.
why ? u can see yourself. some other ppl also can see that too if they know how to see.its not i dun wan to continue that friendship. is u made me dun wan to continue one.
but somehow , i still xin luan. i gave in again. i say to u is the last chance maybe. but i dun think so to myself. cause i cant be hard to ppl. yes , maybe its not the last. but one thing i can confirm. i wont be that mr nice guy anymore. i can just simply walk away. anytime. any place.
okay , lets stop talking about that.
oh my, i've been coughing for a few days.
having sore throat. like going no voice.
sian man! why like that. i will cough till i cant slp. lol.
forget it. let is heal slowly. i can take it. just abit tough.
Saturday, March 14, 2009 | Posted by Deric
train dragon.
super boring.
headache now.
yesterday , went out with ah ger , darrick , rachel.
in the end i dun wan go. too far.
bastards / bitches.
- out of mood -
training today is boring.
train for KN anni.train dragon.
super boring.
headache now.
got nth much to do.
dulan with some problems.
thats all for today.
almost everyday im slping in the morning.morning become night.
night become morning.yesterday , went out with ah ger , darrick , rachel.
went to pasir ris first to book the chalet.
after booking wanted to go to some other place to buy things.in the end i dun wan go. too far.
went to white sands instead. went to buy hair dye.
went to arcade play games.and when playing , BB came and find us.
yeah , play till 10plus went to take bus back home.
while waiting for bus , we all chatted on some topics.
lol , i know u all know. enough.
funny la.
went to rachel house and she helped mi dye my hair.
darrick went back home.
shuzheng and eric came over to rachel house.
yeah , dyed my hair. shuzheng also want abit. lol.
dye liao eric gave mi a nickname. jin mao shi wang.stupid can.
after dye went to eat supper.
after that went home.
use com till 6plus in the morning than go slp.
thats all. past few days im lazy to say out.
want to know go to this links.
thats all. bye.
bastards / bitches.Friday, March 6, 2009 | Posted by Deric
omg , im bored to death at there. sit there fa dai feel like slping. Lol.
as always.
yeah , time to blog.
morning woke up at 5am. went off wif my mum.
went to help her out wif her food store at yu min primary school.
yeah , help her do things , wash , clean tables. sweep.
can say its boring when recess is over. got nth to do!omg , im bored to death at there. sit there fa dai feel like slping. Lol.
2pm finally finish everything. mummy and mi walk to tampines inter.
went there walk walk as i want to look for things. and yes!
she's going to help mi pay my driving tests all that. yeah im going to enroll soon.
when we were boarding the bus , 3 stupid bitches squeeze in and cut my mum's queue.
and i saw a paper flew and hit my mum's head. that lucky bastard/bitch din let mi see is who.
and when boarding , got 1 look at my mother i look at her. think what. u 3 young she old can bully? fuck off , still got mi. bitch. __
why , i look at u den u dun dare look back? dun dare look back den next time please fucking queue up. thinking people old can fucking bully them. and lucky i din saw who throw the piece of paper. if i saw i sure give u a fucking punch to ur face.
wan bully my mother come bully mi 1st.
reach home , i bathe and went to slp. 3plus i reach home.
slp till 7plus i think. wake up eat abit of food.
and waited till 11plus for BB , ah ger and ah bee to come back and eat dinner.
lol , eat liao i bring BB go bus stop.
after that went home. use com!
dun wanna slp yet as im still full.
ask ah ger send mi 1 song. send liao nvm.
she spammed mi wif alot of songs. -_-
wth. nth much liao. till here.
tml sk training ! wee , sat sk DINNER!
=) byes!
Labels: im getting much more better.
as always.Wednesday, March 4, 2009 | Posted by Deric
i rather today i stay at home more better.
forget it.
continue from the older post.
bathe , changed and eat at home and went down to find BB.
went down saw BB and darrick together.
not long after , ah ger came down.
yeah , waited and waited and waited.waited for all who is going. going to TM.
forget it.
gonna slp soon. tml nid to wake up early.
not in the mood to blog much.
till here , bye.
Labels: not in the same old mood of mine.
| Posted by Deric
woke up at 12pm. lol. im early today.
cause i slept early last night. but 5am i got wake up -_-
slp back. wa piang my fan from 1 go to 3.
shld be my sis. wake up so cold. turn back to 1 den slp back. shld be at 9plus. if im not wrong.
haha.
yes , im still coughing. just now find medicine.
eat liao. still coughing.
decided to let my lip hole close.
its been a few months putting studs or retainer.
put till sian. sometimes eat still mafan.
dun wanna put anymore. yeah , like that my cousins and family also will stop saying mi.
if i got the money i will go and laser my hand tattoos too. too obvious at my hand.
forget it. wait till i got money den say. lol. anyway my hand tattoo also ugly.
cause i slept early last night. but 5am i got wake up -_-
slp back. wa piang my fan from 1 go to 3.
shld be my sis. wake up so cold. turn back to 1 den slp back. shld be at 9plus. if im not wrong.
haha.
yes , im still coughing. just now find medicine.
eat liao. still coughing.
decided to let my lip hole close.
its been a few months putting studs or retainer.
put till sian. sometimes eat still mafan.
dun wanna put anymore. yeah , like that my cousins and family also will stop saying mi.
if i got the money i will go and laser my hand tattoos too. too obvious at my hand.
forget it. wait till i got money den say. lol. anyway my hand tattoo also ugly.
yeah , BB said he put his alarm at 12pm. in the end 1.30 den wake up. hahah.
okay bah. at night den update if got anything. =)
| Posted by Deric
headache , cough. feel like im going to have a fever.
and i have a bad feeling of something gonna happen.
today stayed home till 9plus than went down to find them.
watched tv earlier and than went to xiao hong ji meet them.
had my dinner there. lol.
after that went to 7 11 pay phone bill than went to minimart buy bread go home.
went home to put the bread.
went to 137 and sit. i just sit and kept quiet. doing nth at there.
yes , today i suddenly dun feel like doing 1 thing. you guess should know =D
but please dun say out. secret! you know i know can liao. haha.
they took pictures and wanted to take mine too but i use my hand to cover.
headache now , keep coughing.
win others. i dun wan to mention.
mood now : feeling sick. -_-
headache , cough. feel like im going to have a fever.
lol. i hate fever but i only love it when sch times. haha.
and i have a bad feeling of something gonna happen.
nvm , dun worry about that.
watched tv earlier and than went to xiao hong ji meet them.
had my dinner there. lol.
after that went to 7 11 pay phone bill than went to minimart buy bread go home.
went home to put the bread.
went to 137 and sit. i just sit and kept quiet. doing nth at there.
yes , today i suddenly dun feel like doing 1 thing. you guess should know =D
but please dun say out. secret! you know i know can liao. haha.
they took pictures and wanted to take mine too but i use my hand to cover.
no mood to take pics. lol.
headache now , keep coughing.
boring. hope tml can go out and dun rot.
feel like cutting hair.anyway , NELSON!
read my post. hope u can do it for yourself and your school mates.
DO YOUR SCHOOL and US PROUD! =Dwin others. i dun wan to mention.
yes , TRY YOUR BEST! and we will be there to support you guys.
GO NYP! =D
and after your competition at night still got good food waiting for you to eat leh!
haha. till here. =)
Labels: im gonna be on my guard.
Monday, March 2, 2009 | Posted by Deric
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky
One Good-natured optimist.
Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome).
Indulges self.
Boastful.
Likes luxuries and gambling.
Social and outgoing.
Doesn't like responsibilities.
Often fantasizes.
Impatient.
Fun to be around.
Having lots of friends.
Flirtatious.
Doesn't like rules.
Sometimes hypocritical.
Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes.
Doesn't like being doubted.
Beautiful inside and out.
most of the listed things are true about me. well.
this few days have been tonning at sk.
yeah yeah. nth much to blog.
Labels: moody at times.